While searching through the notes on my phone today I happened across a file containing some of my start-up ideas from when I was at university. In retrospect, several of them were either illegal, unworkable, or profoundly stupid. Here are a few highlights:
AGranDayOut
I remember coming up with this name in 2018, and being incapable of stopping myself telling everyone the incredible pun I'd created. There was no way I could let this go to waste, and the product wrote itself. Mystery day trips specifically designed for grandmothers/older women. I envisioned hiring a bus and filling it with all the local biddies, shipping them off to the aquarium for the day where they would meet friends they would bond with for life.
I failed to see the fatal flaw in this otherwise bulletproof plan (ignoring the incredible health and safety issues I had to contend with). The majority of my target market were unable to navigate the internet, and I was expecting them to sign up to a start-up, where a bus would drive them to a random location with a group of other women they'd never met, and then be led around by a tour guide with borderline autism (me). Getting my Nan to ask her neighbours if they want to come round for tea is already like pulling teeth (see below). This one luckily never got passed the ideation phase, but the name still holds a place in my heart.
A Hundred Smiles an Hour
It happens to us all. We're meant to get our dental checkups every six months, but life gets in the way. Dentist appointments take out huge chunks of your day, and you don't want to spend a Saturday with someone sticking their fingers in your mouth (unless you're into that kind of thing). There is a simple solution - the dentist comes to you.
It's all in the name. My original concept was the facilities would be encased in an RV, that would move while the dentistry was being performed. Pick up a client, one dentist begins their work while we move to the next one, and through an optimised scheduler we create routes that would circle back close to the clients destination after the 1 hour procedure was complete. Clearly this is insane. I'm envisioning a dentist wielding his drill, drilling your next cavity in place when the driver hits a particularly large pothole. Your imagination can do the rest.
The other alternative was to have the dentist drive to you, but then you can only have one client at a time. Also, a bloke pulling up to your drive in a van to perform dentistry doesn't scream qualified medical professional.
OnTheLash
Parties at university normally involved alcohol, and I was broke. I normally debased myself by buying 2L of 4.5% cider for 70p from Aldi, attempting to drink away my shame. Yet, what if I could automate this process for students. Instantly find the best alcohol-per-pence ratio within your area. 18-year old me thought this was genius, and I quickly got to work building a Python scraper using Beautiful Soup.
However, like a lot of side projects, I quickly found keeping the data in-sync and accurate for the surrounding area of my university (Leamington Spa) was a nightmare. It was also pointed out that I was creating an alcoholics holy-grail; and I lost lustre for the project and moved on to 'better' things (see below).
Debiton
On the topic of having no money, I was deep into every type of money making avenue I could find. Matched betting, research volunteering, tutoring computer science. Yet the pinnacle when it came to minimal effort and large amounts of money was bank switch offers. Take your existing bank account, make sure it's got a couple of direct debits set up (most of the offers required this), and switch to the bank offering the best deal. A number of these banks would allow you to repeat the process after 18 months, and I gained massively (my credit score on the other hand, did not).
The process of setting up direct debits was a pain in the ass though. Finding companies that would accept direct debits of less than £1 a month was surprisingly hard. Cue the next idea...
I would set up a company that allowed you to easily set up multiple direct debits for £1, and in return I would charge the same for the privilege. The banks would be none-the-wiser, and I would slowly, through word of mouth on forums such as MoneySavingExpert, collect a modest customer base.
One minor problem: I would have been enabling fraud, and likely had the arm of the law resting upon my shoulders. C'est la vie.
PuppyLove
Dogs are cute, and people who own dogs are constrained by their pooch's needs, giving them less time to focus on the dating side of their life. I saw a gap in the market. Tinder for dogs. Each profile is primarily focussed on the dog, yet the owner describes their own personality through the dog's description.
"Daisy is looking for a dog who loves to go on long walks, meet new friends, and cuddle up next to the fire at night".
"Tilly wants someone who will feed her lots of nice food, and likes early mornings".
"Rex wants someone who likes to jump around, and doesn't mind him humping your grandmother's leg".
People say dogs take on the appearance of their owners, and growing up in a small town I already knew doggers were everywhere (IYKYK). Still, matching with someone primarily on pictures of their pet is deranged, and walking round a muddy British park in January is not the meet-cute romance anyone is dreaming of.